The recent Full Moon in Libra and the New Moon coming up in Aries has highlighted the dichotomies of self and other. Self love v.s love of others.
(In all reality, they are one in the same.)
Mars in Gemini square Neptune engages the slippery slope of high ideals, soft power, compassion, desire, delusion, confusion, discernment, manipulation, trickery, longing, head games, high hopes, uncertainty, fantasy, dreams, infatuation, imagination, perfectionism, innocence, vulnerability, selflessness, martyrdom, passion, weakness, disillusionment, cleverness, curiosity, mystery, elusiveness, unobtainability -and tests of faith and courage.
This article contains chapters, and will delve into these themes.
Being an astrologer, I consult with a lot of people. I wear many hats as part of my job description, from psychotherapist, dating coach, advisor, healer, counselor, guide/psychopomp, confidant, etc.
Overall, my function is to empower people to self actualize, facilitate healing, help to maximize opportunities, and assist them in unlocking their fullest potentials for happiness, love, inner peace, personal development, success, manifestation, and fulfilment.
Bringing people home to themselves -and helping them manifest and align with what they want, and fulfilling the promise of the natal chart- or even a synastry or composite- is the easiest way to articulate my purposes and aims when I work with people one on one.
Getting them results.
Liberating them from developmental/psychic/emotional blockages, samsara, and helping them align in harmony with the cycles of their soul, maximize the fruits of their labors, and transmute suffering into wells of wisdom and self empowerment.
Sometimes, people want something more basic or specific. Like a stock/ crypto/investment horary. (Lolz.)
However, one thing I come across a lot in what I do is people who are unwittingly sabotaging their own happiness, growth, pleasure, self esteem, personal development and self respect via mistaking abuse, manipulation, and predation for "love"- and/or mistaking being alone, free, single, and independent, (or *GASP* actually *voluntarily celibate*- ) with being "worthless", "unworthy", "deprived", and "miserable"----- by default.
"They're my twin flame. They're my soul mate. I don't want to be alone. How do I get them back? I need somebody to feel complete." Or more simply "How do I get laid? How do I get more bitches in my DMs?" Etc etc..
Listen. I may be a "Vol-Cel Hustlebot", but I'm no stranger to the struggle of being human. I get it. Sex. Love. Pleasure. Intimacy, etc... these are all inescapable and totally valid human drives, needs, and desires.
But if someone disrespects you, devalues you, deceives you, gaslights you, betrays your trust, tries to erode your mental health and self esteem, is controlling, demeaning, exploitative, insults you, gets off sadistically on causing you harm, pain, humiliation, making you feel inadequate and unworthy, runs game on you, smears and humiliates you, -and then rushes in cyclically with flowers, chocolates, empty apologies, a pity party victim persona -(and even a bum rushed bandaid of a marriage proposal and love bombing in the most extreme and unmitigated personality disordered cases)...
...Unless you're in some kind of weird, consensual BDSM contract...
THIS IS NOT LOVE.
THIS IS PREDATION.
THIS IS ABUSE.
Sure, I can get you the results you think you want when you come to me for a consult (I:e "getting the abusive, self hating ex back" that you feel hopelessly trauma bonded to and convinced you can "heal", "save", or "teach them to love themselves by allowing them to degrade you", -or even just the baser results of merely getting laid, if empty, fleeting conquests with strangers is more your cup of tea.
It isn't hard.
The instructions are simple.
Human psychology is simple.
Game is simple.
The ego structures of the people who play them and are susceptible to them are simple. Fragile. Unsophisticated. Formulaic. Mechanical. Basic.
It's a waste of time, a waste of life, and a waste of genuinely fulfilling and pleasurable human interaction. Definitely a massive waste of human potential in exchange for a petty, competitive, divisive, exploitative, low bandwidth level of engagement, -but if that's really the level of inane bullshit you want to entertain, -sure, I could help get you the results you're seeking if that's the vibration you want to stay on, but I'm not going to lie to you or blow smoke up your ass about it and will always offer a healthier alternative to "getting that abusive person back" before I instruct a person in the (seemingly) "dark", "taboo" and "disreputable" art of understanding the laws of human nature and rules of attraction. Otherwise colloquially known as "game."
These concepts might sound "evil" or "toxic" to some, but these are simple facts of life, and although that's a perfectly normal reaction, it's a naive and simplistic assessment.
Those of you making that assessment are usually always the most in need of being initiated into a more solid and realistic understanding of human nature, behavior, and psychological motivation, -in the very least to better protect yourself from having your life force sucked out of you by dysfunctional, abusive, and predatory people, or simply being the hapless victim of your own naivety.
I would much rather help people get the results that they actually *need*.
Being so happy, fulfilled, at peace, and in love with yourself and with life, -and genuinely excited about exploring and fulfilling your own potentials that you would never DESIRE to maintain a lifesucking trauma bond, or getting an abusive person back into your life to prove to yourself that you're "worthy"(of what? More abuse?) -or equating empty hook ups or sexual attention/ validation w/"self esteem."
Because A.) Such people will only seek to control, exploit, and destroy you because they do not love themselves and are pathologically insecure. For them, love, envy, and self hate are eternally intertwined. No amount of allowing them to erase, invalidate, devalue, abuse, dismiss, gaslight, control and degrade you, -and then suck you back in for more of the same, by using cheap pick up tactics or excessive love bombing, -will ever make them love themselves- or YOU. If you think you're helping them by "sticking by them", -you're actually only enabling them to continue to hate themselves.
And B.) No amount of external validation, attention, or sexual conquest is going to fill the empty void of an unexamined soul, life, a malformed ego structure, lack of substance, limited bandwidth, and an unexplored, neglected sense of self, purpose, potential, and identity.
You won't be able to love yourself either, if you keep going back to this type of person -or this pattern of interpersonal behavior.
Stupid games. Stupid prizes.
It's up to you.🤷🏻♀️
I just thought I'd throw this out there as a PSA disclaimer of sorts, because some of the most unhappy, mixed up, anxious, insecure and miserable people I know of are the ones who are (ironically) the most preoccupied with procuring sex/"love"/external validation, have the most dating profiles -and are the most preoccupied with getting into a relationship and/or getting laid or simply getting others to (fruitlessly) chase them in order to feel good about themselves.
Mind you, this is not about "slut shaming."
It's also not about "relationship shaming." Or "Simp shaming."
This article is much more nuanced than that, and will be touching upon a meditation of the Aries/Libra axis, and Mars in Gemini squaring Neptune, which will be followed by all the other Gemini transits.
But if the above mentioned preoccupations were really the end all be all formula of happiness, self worth, and the panacea of fulfillment that many people apparently believe them to be, you would think the people who were the most interpersonally enmeshed, triangulated, preoccupied and entangled, and energetically invested into dating profiles and having the most sex with the most people, would also be the happiest, most self actualized, confident, and fulfilled people on the planet.
The hard truth is you really do have to be happy alone first.
To truly get to know yourself, connect with your purpose, your gifts, your soul. To really fall in love with yourself, in order to make more developmentally appropriate choices and navigate the interpersonal realm in a satisfying and (mutually) beneficial way that is truly in alignment with your souls purpose and the type of self actualization you're actually striving for and crave.
Otherwise, no matter how much booty you rake in or how perfect your significant other is, or how many people's body parts you have in your DM's, or how much sex you're having, or how big a rock you have on your finger, how many women or men you have chasing after you, or even how famous you are -this is all empty in the end.
It's all just for show. It's not as fulfilling as people try to pretend that it is.
We just had a Full Moon in Libra, and are due to have a New Moon in Aries next Sunday, and I've observed and have personally spoke with many people who are going through some type of metamorphosis in regards to relationships, love, partnership, sex, and their ideals and ideas around these themes.
This is actually a phenomenally healing time for everyone. Immense opportunity for growth.
Over the coming months the Gemini transits in particular will square up to Neptune, potentiating interpersonal confusion, delusion, illusion, fuckery, fantasy, longing, self deception, hope, beauty, compassion, or disillusionment.
It's not all terrible, there are so many positive potentialities unfolding here as well, but ideals will most certainly be heavily activated and people can be vulnerable to manipulation, games, or simply bullshitting themselves.
Because I'm busy, and my time for bookings is limited and sporadic, I thought I would throw together a helpful guidepost that will hopefully serve as a sort of lighthouse for anyone who has felt lost at sea under the themes of the current and coming configurations.
Below are some signs that a love/crush/infatuation (or whatever you prefer to call a simple feeling of warmth, fondness, magnetism and attraction towards another person that every human being experiences by virtue of being human) is "healthy"/coming from a healthy place of wholeness, completeness, self love, and unshakable inner peace or not. If it's not, the checklist contains useful allusions as to how to make it more nutritious for yourself because we are blessed and cursed to feel things, but it doesn't need to be a fruitless and unconstructive bad time or a continuous battle against human nature and the Universe itself.
IS THE "THING" I HAVE FOR THIS PERSON EVEN HEALTHY?
1.) It makes you fall more deeply in love with yourself. You actually become more positively self focused. The "crush" on them is also translating to advancing the crush you should already have on yourself. If you don't have a crush on yourself, this is step fucking one. This part can't be skipped. It's a prerequisite to the rest of this checklist, so make it happen. Either way, something about said person's entry into your life or just your periphery makes you feel more self possessed.
2.) You are not threatened but rather, -you are inspired- by their focus on their own goals, dreams, aspirations, projects, skills, and self development, -and this in turn inspires you further towards your own goals, (as opposed to just scheming lame ways to attempt to make them jealous, insecure, undermined, -which only wastes *YOUR* time, *YOUR* potential, and also vibrationally confuses the universe as to what you're trying to even manifest for yourself or accomplish in the world.)
3.) You feel challenged in positive, non threatening ways to improve and develop yourself and achieve your goals. Self actualization and self empowerment actually becomes your primary outlet for the "crush" feelings.
4.) You don't feel like you are "competing against them", or that they are "competing against you." There is no competition. YOU are your only competition. The "crush feelings" function as inspiration, motivation, and something to smile or blush about occasionally, but your goals are YOUR goals. You are still the main event in your life. You don't feel desperate. You're centered in yourself. If authentically embodying yourself, following your natural proclivities and becoming exactly who you came here to be somehow magically aligns you with chilling with someone who's company and vibes you enjoy, cool. If not, then your prize is your own self actualization, bad assery, and the achievement of your own goals. You impress yourself. They were a witting or unwitting muse. It's unfuckwithable. Everyone wins.
5.) You don't feel diminished by their successes, skills, abilities, or positive qualities and attributes. You feel proud of them. You feel enriched, uplifted, and inspired to step into your own higher potentials at the sight of them totally lording, getting respect, attention, recognition, and taking care of business. You desire to have the same encouraging, inspiring, uplifting and liberating effect upon them with your own lording. It is a clutch AF unspoken (or spoken) arrangement. Even if it's not mutual, who cares. It's fuel. It's inspiration. It's motivation. It's a high vibration. Appreciate it and use it.
6.) You don't feel personally diminished or "weakened" by the act of paying them a genuine compliment, showing attention, initiating communication, or extending yourself in some way, because again, it's not a competition. Your ego is whole, intact, complete, -because you've done the work to become whole inside yourself and you are a total LORD. You also aren't trying to butter them up. You don't give them compliments, kindness, or attention solely to get something in return from them, and you don't kiss their ass. You are just yourself, and it feels like something about the interaction even helps you become more unapologetically "yourself." You're less concerned about them "liking or respecting you back", and you're more concerned about liking and respecting yourself, because you're aware that liking yourself is literally THE KEY to anyone else giving even the slightest fuck about you. Fuck all the haters, even if your crush is one of them. But they still cute AF tho ammiright?
7.) You're able to give of yourself freely and warmly without expectation, but you're also able to intuit imbalance or lopsidedness in your exchanges and are able to handle such things with humor, grace and the necessary self restraint required in order to avoid imposing on boundaries, and/or developing resentment, manufacturing insecurity or a grudge that would poison an otherwise chill and pleasant interaction.
8.) You don't feel threatened by their independence, free will, or autonomy. If you're not dating the person, the idea that it might not be mutual doesn't make you scramble to open a tinder account, only fans, or send desperate thirst traps to a bunch of randos or throw yourself at people to compensate for your unaddressed insecurities, fill a void, or hunt down some "new prospect" to project all of your idealizations on to in a desperate need for external validation-and an equally desperate desire to avoid a more honest and substantive relationship with yourself. You're content with just feeling something pleasant towards another person that also happens to strengthen your relationship with yourself. You're content to enjoy people for who they are. You aren't attached to an outcome. You're relaxed, receptive, and open to possibility, as opposed to anxious, desperate, grasping, attached to an outcome, and seeking to fill a void. Because you have standards, and you have shit to do.
9.) If you are dating the person, and they decide they aren't ready for something you might want, (or they want to part ways altogether,) you respect their decision/boundaries, values, and you allow them to live their life in peace. This doesn't change your positive feelings about yourself, and this alone also won't change the positive feelings you have towards the other person. Only ugly, cruel, and deliberately hurtful and sadistic behavior towards you could impact otherwise positive emotions, memories, or shared experiences. You're able to find inherent value or merit in interactions and experiences, even if things don't turn out the way you had hoped.
10.) The feeling towards the other person is totally organic. It arose on it's own. It just is. It isn't forced or contrived. You didn't go out of your way on some kind of fevered booty hunt or quest. It just kind of simply, naturally, and even quite accidentally exists. It doesn't depend upon the other person conforming to particular behavior or communication patterns. It doesn't disappear if you don't speak for days or weeks or one or both of you is busy living life or going through some bullshit. You don't need the person to change who they are in order for the fondness/like/love/whatever to exist. It's just a nice, warm addition to the glorious jam session you've already got going on in your life, -but it isn't the heartbeat or kickdrum of your very existence. Your self esteem doesn't hang upon their every move, because you're internally rooted and self regulated.
11.) You're able to appreciate whatever is there, whatever is offered, without being grasping or desiring to exert control over the outcome,- or the person. You are receptive, warm, grateful and reciprocal, but you're not pushy or pressuring. Conversely, you're also not a little bitch or a pushover. You respect yourself. If they advance something too quickly for your comfort levels, or timing is not right, you feel comfortable enough with them to be able to be real, say no, or assert boundaries, even though you like them. You don't feel as if you're walking on eggshells around them or that they will fly into an unstable rage or punish you in some passive aggressive way if you don't live up to their demands or expectations. You feel relaxed and comfy to honor your own organic needs, pace, peace, and desires. You're not afraid they will reject you because the happy feeling that the crush feelings give you doesn't even depend on them liking you back because of rule number 10. This also means that you have no complexes about honoring your own needs, desires, values, comfort levels, and boundaries. You're not a codependent. You don't need their approval or validation.
12.) You recognize they are human, just like you. You aren't idealizing them or placing them on a pedestal, nor are you punishing, demonizing, or bitterly resenting them in your mind if they don't meet your desires or expectations in a given moment, way, or manner. You are realistic and compassionately grounded in your assessment of self and others.
13.) You have similar values/interests, and your differences, and respective strengths and weaknesses are complimentary enough to stimulate curiosity, learning, growth, fascination, and positive advancement. You don't hinder each other and you don't feel a need to drop your goals, who you are and what you love in order to keep the person in your life or win their approval.
14.) You like and admire their character, energy, their inner qualities, the way their mind works, their values, abilities, skills, and the way they move in the world. This admiration, respect, or fascination isn't accompanied by malignant envy, resentment, or a desire to make them feel insignificant or play down their awesomeness to yourself. It also isn't accompanied by excessive fawning. It's a simple matter of "game recognize game," because your respect and admiration for others stems from your respect and admiration of yourself.
15.) You're physically attracted to them. (Ok. This one is a no brainer,) -but some people actually feel guilty, suspicious, intimidated, nervous, ashamed, -or legitimately afraid- if they are strongly physically attracted to a person, -and will actually seek to avoid the person altogether, because it actually freaks them out to the point where they actually try to find something, (anything) to dislike or even devalue about the person to deter them from talking to them, because it seems easier and less threatening than facing a compelling force of nature-and/or the possibility of rejection. It's true that being attracted to a person is sometimes actually kind of a terrifying thing. This is why terms like "simp" and "simping" exist because it's easier (and sometimes smarter) to put on a cold, impervious front when we feel humbled in the face of nature, so that we can at least slow down enough to A.) Savor and appreciate it, and B.) Avoid having our vulnerability exploited.
As long as all the other above factors are present alongside this otherwise trivial but pleasant "ordeal", this shouldn't automatically "disqualify" the feelings as "unhealthy", "dumb", "shallow", "doomed", "petty", "vapid", "menacing", "simping" or "insubstantial." Granted, there's a lot of really gorgeous looking packages out there with rather underwhelming, "basic", or even downright abusive contents, -devoid of any distinct personality, character, depth, or substance to match the veneer. Such a "package" can easily wind up being a projection screen for all of your most naive ideals, which is why this factor was last on the list instead of first.
No one is perfect, and the emphasis we are biologically primed to place on appearance, and on form over substance is a source of human anguish, suffering and confusion the world over. But to negate or underplay the importance of physical attraction in order to appear virtuous, "deep", "enlightened" or whatever, would be just as naive, shallow and dishonest as pretending that it's the only thing that matters. It would be a straight up lie.
I've personally been repulsed by the characters, personalities, actions, and proclivities of otherwise absolutely stunning looking people, and conversely, have been fascinated and enchanted by average, ordinary looking folks who lack any particularly striking features or don't meet the typical "beauty norms"- but there is just something otherworldly and compelling about them due to the light coming from their soul.
But if you find yourself automatically devaluing or dismissing people you're actually really attracted to, maybe look a bit deeper into what may be behind that.
Needless to say, physical attraction/sexual chemistry, combined with all of the other above mentioned signs/feelings/experiences, is a beautiful thing to behold and experience, and you'll notice that much of being able to experience, perceive and reap the benefits of this type of glorious cascade of neurochemistry in a consistent way has to do with our relationship with ourselves.
If you are fortunate enough to experience all this (even just in a one sided and unreciprocated way), be grateful for your ability to perceive beauty and wonder within yourself and within other people without desiring to control, destroy, invalidate or diminish it. This means that your crush on yourself is strong, and this is the key to this last part:
If you get the rare opportunity to experience these things in mutual and reciprocal ways, you are truly blessed, as such an uncomplicated joy bestowed upon us by nature has become so uncommon for so many today. Enjoy it while it is there. The universe has brought you together to activate something within both of you, and deepen your relationship to yourself. It may not go as expected, so as long as you're aware that this all comes down to self love, you can extract medicine and beauty from any experience or interaction, -like a peacock.
PLANETS IN GEMINI SQUARE NEPTUNE AND TRINE SATURN/JUPITER:
GENUINE GAME V.S FAKE GAME.
This chapter can be applied collectively as well as interpersonally. I;e, the differences between propaganda and manipulation v.s real, actual, genuine clout backed with substance, integrity, and congruency.
I'd like to close this article out by mentioning that the people with the most serious and genuine "game" aren't actually playing, pretending, or deploying mechanical and formulaic "tactics" at all.
They really are authentically self invested and working on themselves.
They really are genuinely that busy hustling, grinding, and manifesting.
They don't need "games" or "tactics", and they aren't wasting time on playing people, validation seeking, attention whoring, throwing themselves at randos, and accumulating loads of shitty karma via fucking with people's heads in a petty, vicious, power hungry, insecure, competitive and manipulative way.
Genuine "game" is a powerful force that can't be faked.
When you're truly and authentically invested in your self development and cultivation, you don't have to "pretend" that you're not unhealthily, co-dependently overly preoccupied and "simping" over another person.
You really actually are focused on your goals, your passions, your happiness, your emotional fulfillment, and your authentic self actualization.
You don't have to go out of your way to put on an act of being a good person, or struggle to willfully ignore another person's text for 3 days to appear more "mysterious", "valuable", "important", -or appear less needy and insecure than you feel.
If a person with genuine game doesn't get back to a person in 3 hrs or 3 days or whatever, it isn't an act. Even if they're genuinely interested in you, their interest in you actually drives them to improve themselves and advance in life so that when they can make time for you, (and if they like your vibes, they will,)- they will have a lot to offer and share with you.
People with genuine game don't even trip on the word "simp" because they're comfortable with the idea of enjoying another person, and because genuine game isn't an insecure, disinterested little bitch that can't enjoy their own company first and foremost, -which is why such people are sought after to begin with. But they also attract a lot of predators, energy vampires, users, and haters, so they're not easily accessible to everyone.
Conversely, "fake game" is mentally, spiritually, and creatively impoverished.
People running fake game have nothing to offer but a mirage.
These people will pretend to be interested at first, but they just want attention and a quick, artificial ego boost, or they want... something, and manipulating people into liking them is just how they roll. Even if they are actually interested in you and secretly like or admire you, once they get your attention, or whatever else they wanted, they will pretend to be disinterested, busy, aloof, or thoroughly unimpressed, in order to create an illusion of high value.
They're constantly role playing, pretending, acting.
These people are typically malignant narcissists and they're deeply insecure. They spend most of their time seeking external validation, instant gratification, typically leading several people on at a time, -only so they can reject and devalue all of them, make them feel stupid, and manufacture insecurity within them as an (ultimately ineffectual) way of managing, deflecting, and projecting their own. They also do this in the hopes that others may be easier to control later on, so they can continue to extract temporary ego boosts and a false sense of power from the ensuing disappointment that inevitably follows their weak and sickly shade.
They're miserable, bitter, hateful, weak and envious people that lack any true substance, and they're desperate to feel significant and powerful, but go about it in self sabotaging, destructive, ultimately self defeating and counterintuitive ways.
This is why it's important to move slowly, and to observe people, so you can decipher genuine game from fake game/straight up malignant NPD.
This isn't to say that every single person out there with unaddressed insecurities, shyness, trauma, complexes, social anxieties or fears is automatically malignantly personality disordered. Some people are just immature, afraid, lost, or internally conflicted, but may be consciously or unconsciously still seeking to learn, grow, improve, and increase their bandwidth.
But it's up to you to assess and decide if a person is worth your time, and if being another person's "practice dummy" has a satisfactory risk/reward ratio in relation to your own personal goals and desires in life.
I hope y'all got something out of this. Best of luck in life and love. I hope you achieve all your goals.
Thanks for reading.